Why Hex Parasite will ruin your day.

I am telling you now. If you don't like to read spoilers, then don't read this post. These are not the posts you are looking for. Move along.

Ok...ready? One day you are going to get out of bed with a smile on your face. You are going to have a great day at work. You are going to go over to a buddies house or to a pizza place or something, throw down with some Magic the Gathering and Hex Parasite will ruin your day.

God. What does this little asshole do? I mean, it can't be that bad....Is it?

It is.

Are you happy now? No. You aren't. But life is tough. I'm here for you. Lets look at some ways that Hex Parasite will be a game changer. I don't mean format changer or really good in limited. I mean it will change the game of Magic the Gathering entirely.

Relish the days you have now, because when you think you are care free and playing Jace The Mind Sculptor without a wisp of uncertainty, Hex Parasite is windmill slammed onto the table and there isn't a damn thing you can do about it.

Now, lets spin the table around. You have just watched your opponent collapse like poorly build domed stadium  (I just wanted to post the video) and now you are ready to make his day even worse. You scan the board for what he has been setting up: Luminarch Ascension, Everflowing Chalice, Tumble Magnent. All of these things, Hex Parasite will rip counters off all of these.

Hex Parasite, since it is an artifact, will be played in every format. It will be a great addition to Mud decks:

Metalworker MUD
A deck, by Nicholas O'Conner
6th place at a tournament in Bloomberg, Pennsylvania on2011-04-03
Print this deck!

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Maindeck:

Artifacts
1 Black Lotus
4 Chalice of the Void
1 Mana Crypt
1 Mana Vault
1 Mox Emerald
1 Mox Jet
1 Mox Pearl
1 Mox Ruby
1 Mox Sapphire
2 Sculpting Steel
1 Sol Ring
4 Sphere of Resistance
4 Tangle Wire
4 Thorn of Amethyst
1 Trinisphere

Artifact Creatures
4 Lodestone Golem
4 Metalworker
4 Steel Hellkite


Legendary Artifact Creatures
2 Karn, Silver Golem

Lands
4 Ancient Tomb
2 City of Traitors
2 Mishra's Factory
4 Mishra's Workshop
1 Strip Mine
4 Wasteland

Legendary Lands
1 Tolarian AcademySideboard:

3 Crucible Of Worlds
4 Relic of Progenitus
2 Tormod's Crypt
4 Duplicant
1 Triskelion
1 The Tabernacle at Pendrell Vale

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Stats:
Average mana: 1.68
Average creature mana cost: 4.43
Average creature power: 3.71
Average creature toughness: 3.43

Deck Composition:
Artifacts: 46.67%
Artifact Creatures: 20.00%
Lands: 28.33%
Legendary Artifact Creatures: 3.33%
Legendary Lands: 1.67%

And can be used all the way through to standard decks like Tezz Control:

Tezzeret Control A Standard Magic deck, by Daniel Nisthal 5th place at a StarCityGames.com Invitational Qualifier tournament in Spring Lake, North Carolina, United States on 2011-04-10 As reported at http://www.starcitygames.com Click here to see a summary of all decks from StarCityGames.com Invitational

Maindeck: Artifacts 2 Contagion Clasp 4 Everflowing Chalice 4 Sphere of the Suns 3 Tumble Magnet Artifact Creatures 1 Blightsteel Colossus 4 Kuldotha Forgemaster 1 Myr Battlesphere 1 Wurmcoil Engine Legendary Artifacts 1 Mindslaver Planeswalkers 4 Jace, the Mind Sculptor 4 Tezzeret, Agent of Bolas Sorceries 2 Black Sun's Zenith 1 Duress 4 Inquisition of Kozilek Basic Lands 4 Island 5 Swamp Lands 4 Darkslick Shores 4 Drowned Catacomb 4 Inkmoth Nexus 1 Marsh Flats 1 Mystifying Maze 1 Scalding Tarn Sideboard: 2 Ratchet Bomb 1 Platinum Emperion 2 Phyrexian Crusader 1 Treasure Mage 2 Vampire Hexmage 2 Go for the Throat 2 Into the Roil 1 Black Sun's Zenith 2 Memoricide

So yeah. Hex Parasite. I warned you about your day being ruined. Don't come to me crying saying I didn't.